- If you believe in God (especially the Christian God), why? What is the one or two things that you can come back to in grounding your faith? (Perhaps an experience you had or something about the universe or other fact. I'm not looking for a full apologetic, but what foundation do you personally stand on when others question)
- If you do not believe in God, why not? What specifically prevents you from believing. (Again, perhaps an experience or a specific reasoning issue)
I'll lay myself out with the first comment. I'm looking forward to hearing yours!
*please note, there are Christians, non-Christians, and seekers of truth reading this blog. I will not tolerate any comments that are personally attacking or disrespectful, but will not moderate beyond that. I'm anxious for the dialogue.
14 comments:
Why do I believe? I believe that God is real, that Jesus is God's son because for so much of my life I felt so empty. I really hurt, especially as I began high school with two alcoholic parents and having already lost two friends to death. I felt despartly alone. I think you can relate because I think that you feel that way now. When I excepted Christ at church camp when I was 14 all of that "lonliness" melted away (almost instantly). I felt warm and loved, almost for the first time. The analogy of the God shaped vacuum really fit for me. After that moment my life changed. I felt more convicted about things that I was doing (not just because I was trying to be a "good" little Christian, but because I could feel God's spirit inside me guiding me). I once tried to steal something from Safeway when I was probably 15, but I kept hearing the booming "thou shall not steal" in my head, so I left the store, even though I really wanted the item that I was going to take. I am sure that it was God because it went against my nature. Another thing that I am sure was God was when I was leaving Kenya and I felt like God said to me that He was preparing me to come back... I am sure this was God, because it was not MY PLAN and I did not really believe in missions work today, but I listened because it was different than my own nature. Another place I felt God work was after this first night that I met you... it just seemed like to big of a chance that this great guy would come into my life at a time when I had decided that I was really not going to date. That is why I asked God after our first date if you were the guy I was suppose to marry. I could go on and probably will at another time and with another entry about personal experience...
I also believe because the Bible convicts me in a way that I know is good correction beyond myself. In the Bible I find sinful, everyday people who God works through. It gives me hope an reaffirms my faith because I could never be perfect, but I see how God wants me to be, so I pick myself up everyday and try to be more like Christ to my kids, my husband, my neighbors, my co-workers, the person at the grocery store, the security officers at the Foote, the kids that we work with... not because I am trying to be something that I am not, but because there is something inside of me that wants to do good and be good (it can only be God)! Without that something inside of me, the selfish me would always win! This is how I know that I am a new creation in Christ.
okay -- good question. i'm looking forward to reading what others have to say. the only problem with this question will be that (if you so choose) you can probably find ways to dismiss everyone's personal experiences. i hope you don't. i hope you take into consideration that so many people ascribing their experiences to god is actually some pretty hard-core evidence.
i didn't exactly grow up in a christian household. my dad can't believe in anything he can't see. my mom believes in god & christ, but chooses to discount the parts of the bible that address hell due to her past & her family circumstances. because she doesn't believe in any consequence for nonbelief, she doesn't feel the need to talk about her faith to anyone. i went to church, but i don't remember a single sermon until i was much, much older. i never really doubted that there was a god. i figured there had to be one. i did, though, doubt the how of creation & the god of the bible & the historicity of jesus.
being a nerd, i set out studying and became convinced of all of those things, but i still didn't understand about making jesus the lord of my life. that came while my youth group was preparing for an outreach. we were praying for hearts to be changed & for people to come to know him. then we set out practicing sharing our faith. as my friend started talking to me about having christ on the throne of her heart, i realized that i didn't. i didn't tell anyone there -- i was to embarrassed -- but that's when i committed my life to the service of the lord (i was 16). i don't think anyone even came to the outreach, let alone trusted god, so to me it is evident that god was at work there, preparing my heart and preparing this whole situation just so that i would understand that "knowing" god meant an awful lot more than knowing about him.
so, i've now spent half of my life as a christian. there are certainly other ways god has worked in me.
when i was in college, i majored in english/secondary education & was planning on minoring in theater. for some reason, i didn't declare it as a freshman. as a sophomore, every single prof in the theater department whom i liked left the school. i was at a loss as to what to do -- spend 3 years miserable or find a new minor and risk needing 5 years to graduate. i realized that i was choosing my career without asking god what he would have me do. in tears one night, i told god that i would be willing to do whatever he wanted, even if that meant giving up teaching (which had been my dream since i was 5 years old). i was terrified. i woke up very early in the morning (not my normal m.o.), sat straight up in bed, & said "spanish." i looked in the coursebook & realized that it was possible to add spanish that late in the game & still graduate on time. i had no great love of languages then. no prior proficiency in spanish. in fact, i hadn't taken spanish in 3 years & hadn't planned on doing more than was required for my b.a. but i took spanish. then, another 2 years down the road, i got a hankering to do something outside of the country. i was thinking a needy country and the peace corps. i was rejected based on the jobs of family members. then i went to a job fair for international educators. i interviewed with cambodia & the ukraine & morocco -- totally trying to be open to where god wanted me to go. then, i interviewed with barcelona. and was immediately offered the job. i hated the school & my job, but fell in love with the country & fell in love with brian over there. suddenly, it all made sense. what seemed to be an easy decision to minor in spanish because of credit hours was really much more.
when brian & i were "just friends" in barcelona, i liked him a lot, but was pretty sure he wasn't interested (and i was right). so, there i was, trying to talk myself out of the emotions i felt for him & god gave me a verse. i know it wasn't from myself for a few reasons. first, it was in the book song of solomon & i had never before read it & didn't know that a verse like that would be in there. also, the reason i hadn't read it was because i was pretty sure it was just a love poem & had nothing to teach me. but there it was. a feeling that i needed to read that book. and i knew that i just had to wait & that brian & i would be together.
i could go on with similar examples of god's provision, comfort, & guidance in my life, but i think this is getting long enough, so i thought i'd address just one more issue.
a time when god was in the "bad" stuff. a time when god answered prayers by not answering prayers.
when i was in college, i was highly involved in campus crusade for christ. our leader was called dick & he was amazing. the organization was growing. people were coming to faith in christ. christians were growing in their faith. then, in my senior year, dick developed mouth cancer. he had never smoked, never chewed. he was an all-around healthy guy. his upper palate was removed. part of his tongue was removed. we prayed & prayed for healing for this man of god whose job it was to share the love of christ. despite the prayers of many churches across the state & nearly every christian on my college campus, dick got worse. and worse. until he finally -- after 2 years of unbelievable pain -- died. where was god in all of this? how could god let something like that happen to a person who had dedicated his life to ministry? think about all the lives that dick could have touched if he had just lived to be an old man! these were the thoughts that ran around and around in my head. until i went to his memorial service. and i saw all the people there whom he had touched through his illness and suffering and death. people with whom he never otherwise would have had contact. people who never before had been interested in anything spiritual, but who saw the light of christ in dick's life. and i realized that dick had to go through "light and momentary" trials in order that these people had a credible witness to the love of christ.
though the fig tree should not blossom
and there be no fruit on the vines,
though the yield of the olive should fail
and the fields produce no food,
though the flock should be cut off from the fold
and there be no cattle in the stalls,
yet i will exutl in the lord,
i will rejoice in the god of my salvation.
the lord god is my strength,
and he has made my feet like hinds' feet,
and makes me walk on my high places. -habakkuk 3:17-19
Yes, I believe. This is not going to be an exhaustive post, but I hope to get on later and finish my thoughts...my first initial response it that everything I do, think, say depends on me and God.
I wouldn't give up in the morning if it wasn't for God, what would be the point?
I wouldn't spend time loving my wife or communicating that, because again, what would be the point!
I wouldn't be intentional with my boys to be life changers, and build into them leadership, kindness, self control, giving in spirit, or loving Jesus...what would be the point.
In my mind there would not be a point to life, if there is no God or if He was not involved in my life today...I'm intimately communing with Him on another level whenever I'm in conversations with youth in facilities, staff in facilities, and those that don't have hope. That is key for me, Jesus Christ is my HOPE, God sent Him because He loves me. I have to have hope and to have hope I have to have FAITH. Believing in things hoped for and certain of what I can't see.
I have specific examples of God being real in my life that I will share later, but even if I didn't have those experiences or didn't still have experiences with Him, I have to have hope to even give a rip in this world.
Otherwise, without God and without hope, I'd be a drunk that never got married and didn't have kids...'cause what would be the point! Love to talk more...maybe later this week! I do love you, Mike and for what it is worth I'm with you on this journey no matter your belief or not!
First let me say Thank you michael for starting this blog, it has helped me to open my mind to others thoughts and beliefs.
When I was a young girl my family went to church very irregularly, my parents never found "the right church", but I always new, just new there was a God. My family as I remember it, never talked about God, we never read the bible or prayed openly. But yet I just believed. I have never had a doubt that God didnt exsist. Now I ask myself the question, why do i believe? I think the answer is not that easy in coming...I dont know alot about the Bible, I dont go to church every sunday. But I do treat others the way I think God would want me to, I do try very hard to live my life in the best way I can. I may not surround myself with the best possible choices in people, but I do try to live my life by example to all, and not follow their bad ways.
I dont know if God is one thing, I think maybe he is all around us. When I pray and I think God has answered me or God has given me his advice, I too wonder if it is my own mind telling me what to do. Maybe in some small way that is God. Maybe each of our souls is a part of Gods power and wisdom. Maybe God is in each of us, and all around us. When I pray, not every prayer comes true, if it came true for all of us then we would all be rich, tall, fit, and not have a care in the world.
Working in the medical field, I see patients that are in pain and hurt in many different ways, but I also see those same individuels with smiles and calmness when I have the chance to tell them I will pray for them, or even mention Gods name.
If there was no God I think the world and all the people in it would be lifeless. I mean they would not only look hopeless, but be empty of any and all, love, kindness and joy. This is what God does for me, he puts the light, love, joy and kindness in me even thou the people in my life may bring me down. He helps me to believe in a better tomarrow.
God is Love, God is will, God is Kindness, hope and faith. Without these things in our lives we would be helpless and miserable.
I think there are too many miracles in this world for there not to be a higher power. just my thoughts.
Mike,
I like that despite the fact that we have not spoken much for over ten years (my fault), you cut right to the chase. I find your doubt neither a mistake nor as something to be feared. Doubt seems to be a quality common among saints.
I once heard a story about Mother Theresa. Apparently, when she was in her twenties, she experienced several years of transcendent, rapturous, almost physical personal experience of being in Christ's presence. Then, suddenly, the experience vanished. After knowing Christ personally and experientially, Mother Theresa felt a total absence...all of the time. This continued until the end of her life. Many years later, a priest in deep despair shared with her that he no longer felt the presence of Christ. Mother Theresa smiled sadly and asked, "How long has it been for you?"
My point is that I believe that doubt is a common, and perhaps an essential component of faith. For me, it tells me that my spirit is reaching, yearning, and that my faith is not merely a symptom of wishful thinking or socialization.
I can identify with Mindy, Meg and others, who cite experiential foundations for their faith rather than scientific or responses of doctrine.
I find evidence of God in those coincidences that cannot be mere coincidences. Put simply, faith works. A foundational reading for me is the "we agnostics" chapter in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Honestly, I call myself Christian because I identify with the message of brokenness inherent in all human beings and the message that God's love as communicated through Jesus Christ can make us whole. (I'm not quite articulating this as I would like.) I believe in the power and truth of Grace. I am moved by the God described in the Gospels and elaborated in such works as Brennan Manning's the Ragamuffin Gospel and Henri Nowen's The Wounded Healer.
I am moved by these, but that does not remove doubt. I have NEVER interpreted the Bible literally. It is my understanding that the Bible has been edited, translated, and changed thousands of times by multiple scribes and authors. I do not believe that the authors were inspired by God if this means the Holy Spirit guiding the author's pen.
However, this does not mean that the Bible does not contain God's Word. I usually read the Bible weekly and I have a hunch that it is the interaction between the reader and the Words on the page that transforms my heart. I find truth in the words that Thomas Merton writes in "Opening the Bible" that the Bible answers our question of "who is God" with "who is this who asks?"
Lately, I have shared your fears that I could be deluding myself about the existence of God. What if there truly is nothing and I am just deluding myself? I do not choose to doubt. Seriously...I would sleep a whole lot better if I simply believed. It is just simply part of my human condition that I must face with as much courage and truth as I can muster. I believe this is what you are doing.
My recent doubt in many common Christian beliefs stem from my reading of Marcus Borg and those of the Jesus Seminar. It seems there is little evidence that Christ teachings aimed at the resurrection. I am not stating this to debate Christian believers. I am far too ignorant to do that. I am only mentioning this to explain why I am currently in doubt about some aspects of my Christian faith.
On Buddhism, I must start by saying that I have never believed that Christianity is the only path to God so exploring this faith is not a very radical departure for me.
I've been accused of picking and choosing the best parts of what I want to believe and leaving the rest. This is not true.
I have a strong hunch that if I was brought up in a devote Muslim or Hindu, or Buddhist household, that my inclination would almost always stray to that faith with which I am most familiar. When I look beyond doctrine and observe the few (and there really are only a few it seems) practitioners of each of the World's great faiths, they look very much alike.
In exploring Buddhism, I am drawn to that significant minority of Christians, most prominently embodied in the writings of Thomas Merton who found much in the teachings of Buddhism to inform their faith in Jesus Christ. I am drawn to the practice of Buddhism and its teachings on the nature of suffering.
I'll close here. Striving to know the truth about God is extremely important to me. My doubt does not change the fact that my knees hit the floor in prayer as the first thing I do every morning. I didn't choose my doubt, but it is part of my current experience. It sounds trite, but Christ did say, "seek and you shall find" This is what I intend to continue doing and I am grateful you asked me to share a small part of your journey.
Well, I stumbled across your blog from your facebook profile. I want to encourage you to beware the slippery slope. It sounds to me that you are asking the question "God, where are you?" or even "Are you there, God?" as opposed to "Does God exist?" While all of these questions are OK to ask I'd encourage you to ensure that you're asking the right question - you may be getting an answer to the question that you should be asking. Just a thought from one uneducated fool.
Now I shall answer your question. How do I know that God exists? Outside of the infrequent, yet beautiful, intersections of providence (how I became a Christian) and miracle (how I am still married) and my life I can't explain scientifically that there is a God. That is hard part. As Frances Collins says, how can you expect the God who made the laws of nature to become subject to them? If He is bigger than those laws then He is not bound to those laws. I love science and took all of the Biology and Genetics courses that the Uni had to offer. It was awesome. Physics was fun and actually founded the base for my own scientific justification for the existence of God (note ... I didn't say "PROOF"). That base is the (you have kids so you know it's annoying) question "Where did THAT come from?" Organism -> Organ -> Tissue -> Cell -> Cellular Components -> Molecules -> Atoms -> Protons, Neutrons, Electrons -> Quarks ... etc ... No matter HOW small you get the first law of thermodynamics states that you cannot create energy (or matter) from nothing! Thus the smallest "thing" (whether or not science has yet to discover it) HAD to come from somewhere or we violate a law of thermodynamics and we're back to the drawing board with ALL that we hold scientifically near and dear. Please dont hear me say that I hate science. I love it! I'm a geeky nerd who has a BS in Biology and almost an MS in Information Systems (and now starting to work on an MA in some Seminary something-or-other) but science cannot prove the existence of God and that is simply not its value. Its value is in describing and discovering what He made.
Finally, there's the approach of Blaise Pascal, " Belief is a wise wager. Granted that faith cannot be proved, what harm will come to you if you gamble on its truth and it proves false? If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation, that He exists. "
Love ya brother.
Seth
Why I believe in the God of the Bible…
I guess you can say I am a Romans 1:20 kind of believer. “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities – his eternal power and divine nature – have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.”
Since my earliest memories, which date back to probably the early grade school years, the night sky was my proof that there is someone out there much bigger and more powerful than all of us. When I would look at the sky on a clear night (I lived in the country and it was really dark), the amazing size, and scope and awesomeness of the universe put me in awe. And that was just the part I could see. In school I learned that there are billions and billions and billions of stars, and that some are so far away that it takes millions or billions of years for their light to reach us. The complexity of it all, and yet the simpleness and quietness of stars filling the night sky intrigued me. From that early age, I “knew” in my heart that this didn’t all just come about by some cosmic accident.
So, as a kid, even though I went to Sunday School regularly, I didn’t necessarily marry my strong belief in a creator with the verses out of the Christian Bible. Sure, I knew that what the Bible was saying was “good” stuff and it told you how to live a life to be “nice” and not get in trouble with your parents, but as a kid, Christianity and Sunday School sometimes seemed to me to just be a bunch of rules to follow. As I got into junior high and high school, I also found public school science classes to be a discouragement of my faith in the Bible. You know the drill, evolution, dust, and matter, etc. So, at my core, I still believed there was a creator, but now I was kind of being led to believe that “smart” people don’t take the Bible seriously.
As I am older now, the Romans 1:20 verse is still my strongest conviction for faith. Having become a dad myself, the whole process of pregnancy, birth, and growing up is yet another proof to me of a creator. How unimaginable is it to think that one cell from a man and one cell from a woman can come together and become an entirely new person. And that this person can grow inside of a woman’s stomach for 9 months. And as it is growing from two tiny cells, mysteriously a heart appears, lungs, eyes, arms, legs, fingernails, etc… Beyond that, how can a woman’s body even handle that happening inside of her? Then, comes birth, and the woman’s body is even further designed to feed this new creation. But beyond just the amazement of the physical process, what about the emotional and personality side? The love a mom and a dad feel for their own children is indescribable, and it is also amazing to discover your kid’s personality. How does this little thing that started as just two tiny cells, have a personality and emotions? I find it much more of a stretch to believe this could have all happened by scientific chance, rather than an intentional creator.
Anyway, the foundation of my faith still is believing in a god because of what I see all around me. Now, why do I believe in the God of the Bible? Well, let me preface this by saying I still have some hang-ups and speed bumps as well. For instance, did the serpent really talk in the garden, how did all of the animals fit on that boat, and what did they eat. I used to spend more time with these kinds of questions, but I’ve changed now to more of a “does this affect what Jesus did” type of mentality. In other words, do these periphery questions somehow change or marginalize what Jesus did here on earth? Plus, I’ve rationalized in my mind that writing and “news” events were different back then than they are now. For instance, some of Jesus’ miracles in the New Testament were described very matter-of-fact and simply in one sentence. Can you imagine that in today’s world? If a guy came to a village and raised someone from the dead, within an hour there would be 427 articles on the internet about it and then all of the news crews in their satellite trucks would be on the ground for live coverage for days afterward.
So, I’m sure you’ve read all of the books arguing for the case for Christ and what-not, much better than me. When I first started reading those books, it was refreshing to me to learn that other “smart” people had actually reasoned their faith. Note above, from my junior high and high school days, I thought “smart” people didn’t ask tough questions of the Bible. It was at this point, that I started to have a stronger conviction that the God of the Bible is the creator of the universe. So, of all the arguments apologists make to argue for the Bible, there are probably two that I think are the most important to me.
First, is the discussion about how 12 ordinary men, in the face of extreme persecution, took Jesus’ teachings and changed the world, for 2,000 years now. These disciples were just ordinary dudes with no special political status or power. Thomas even doubted that Jesus was resurrected until he saw it with his own eyes. Peter even denied knowing Christ three times shortly before his crucifixion. Yet, these 12 men believed they saw something so miraculous, that they gave up everything in order to spread Jesus’ word. I’m no Biblical scholar, but didn’t almost all of them end up being martyred because of their teaching? How could these twelve people take a known lie, and do this? Wouldn’t one of them crack under the pressure? What about Peter? Shortly before the crucifixion he denied even knowing Jesus, and now he is such a strong believer that Jesus is the Son of God, that he is killed for it? In my mind, there just isn’t any other explanation of the actions of the 12 disciples. They were there. They saw what they saw. One ordinary person, let alone 12 of them, would not give up everything for a lie. What did they stand to gain if they knew Jesus was a fake?
The second faith builder for me is the conversion of Saul/Paul. Here is a guy that hates Christians. He persecutes them beyond belief. Yet, something so incredible happens to him that he decides to follow Jesus the rest of his life, enduring imprisonment and every other hardship. What could have been that convincing to Paul?
So, that’s my road to faith in Jesus and the Bible. I would be lying if I told you that boom, I believed, and then there were no more peaks and valleys. There are times I feel somewhat close to God and many more times where it’s kinda like, huh? My personal belief is that 99 percent of us here on earth are never going to have a concrete, tangible encounter with God where he comes to us and says “quit thinking about it, here I am, I am real, here’s my business card.” And if God did show himself in that way to everyone of us, would it require any faith to follow Him?
You’ve done so much for His kingdom, but you didn’t grow up as a Christian. What was it that initially brought you to it?
I am a deeply religious nonbeliever.
What does this mean? I am awed at the diversity of life on planet Earth and the sheer immensity of the cosmos. I get chills when I encounter what feels like a random coincidence. The sight of something as breathtakingly beautiful as a newborn child's first breath or a triple rainbow (YES, I saw this recently!) causes me to feel hopelessly small and humble. But when I experience these things, I do not interpret them as signs of an intelligent creator or supernatural event setting it all into motion.
I can't say for sure why I think this way and why others don't. It is certainly a possibility that I was raised knowing that I could ask tough questions and that others are not. But I was never taught that I needed to accept God as fact, but I was also never taught that God didn't exist. From a young age I was rewarded for thinking critically and for asking tough questions. My parents exposed me to a wide range of literature from many cultures and I read the works of Carl Sagan and Stephen Jay Gould early on. I learned the scientific method from a young age, and have come to understand that this shapes the majority of my logical and critical thinking skills and my approach to problem solving. From age 7 on I was exposed to liberal religion (Unitarian Universalist), one of the principals of which is the promotion of "a free and responsible search for truth and meaning" for each individual, which probably reinforced my own individual discovery that the existence of life was not necessarily evidence of a divine creator (at age 6 - I still remember the moment when I had the thought, I suppose it was a similar experience to what others describe as their first deep spiritual connection with a creator).
From the time that I first started talking about my beliefs openly, I experienced fear, hatred, and prejudice, often from people of faith. In 1993 my PUBLIC high school biology teacher rejected a proposed project that would have discussed potential evidence for evolution uncovered during the then very new Human Genome Project because, as he stated, "I am a Creationist, and I don't teach Evolution here". Several of my close friends were torn between the teachings of their respective churches and what they knew about me as a person ... that as an Atheist, I must be morally bereft, depressed, hopeless, judgmental, vulgar or otherwise unfit for friendship or any other kind of contact. One might suspect that this would have caused me to reject any and all religious faiths; however, wanting to relate better to others and perhaps to answer my own lingering doubts I attended numerous other churches while in high school and college, sometimes with friends and sometimes on my own (including LDS, Christian, Pentecostal, Catholic, Methodist, Baha'i, Presbyterian, etc.). My explorations continued to reinforce my existing belief system... that I don't NEED to believe in the existence of a supreme being, or perhaps more appropriately, I believe that the universe as we know it MOST LIKELY arose from random events. The laws of probability support my beliefs. The laws of science and the physical world support my beliefs. And the meaning of my life is to live it to the fullest, because my only afterlife is the collection of memories and impressions that I leave on the lives that I touched during my brief physical lifetime. I HAVE struggled with feelings of hopelessness and despair over the randomness of my existence, but NOT ONCE have I struggled with my faith. I am truly happy with myself the way I am. I am a deeply religious nonbeliever, and am no longer afraid to say that I am an Atheist. The only concern I have today is how Theism is deeply and seriously impairing the ability of people to relate cross-culturally, but that is a topic for another post!
From Tobea:
Since I can only use the internet from my work computer, I couldn't sign on to the blog thing. Somehow it doesn't allow it. So I try and say something abuot why I believe... My faith in the loving God of the bible is grounded on experience. There are so many elements, it would be hard to come up with all, so let me just say he proved his word true over and over again. I've seen healings and other miracles, but I think it's more the little things that show me he's there and he's personal. Without him in the picture nothing would make sense. Creation and it's order, the cross...this is where I see perfect love. Yes, Jesus did suffer on the cross, more than I can ever ever understand - still his father loved him with a complete and unselfish and holy love. And he loves us. Yes I know my brain can not fathom the thing, but it makes me fall to my knees in worship and wonder. It's not that I feel God's presence everyday, every moment - but I have his promise. That's what I hold on!
to on
the hard times and uncertainties of my life. Since moving to Italy I had to go though some struggles, health wise, in my private life and also at work, but I also got many new inputs - one author in particular has been a big encouragement - John Piper. Reading some of his books helped me see a lot of things clearer.
I'm really sorry to hear about the struggles you're having. I'll definitely keep you and your family in my prayers! Don't forget you're not alone in this. I can tell by the posts that your friends are there for you. Also remember - when Thomas couldn't believe, Jesus came and gave him the proof he needed. He will do the same for you!
God bless you with a deep knowledge of his presence and abounding love. tabea
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