It’s amazing how much emotions control our lives. There are a ton of examples I could use – from the trauma we’ve faced to our view of ourselves to our mood in a given moment. Emotions play a large part of who we are, what we do, and even what we believe.As I explore my doubt in God, I am well aware that there is much under the surface of intellect that could be based in emotional issues… broken trust of leaders in my life, hurt from the people I thought I could trust, experiences where I trusted God and received hurt… or my family was hurt.
Perhaps it even goes back to the cliché “daddy issues.” I love my dad, but the reality is his personality is not the type to initiate contact and reach out to be there. (Dad, if you ever read this realize I’m not blaming you and love you a ton – I’m commenting on a personality trait that you have admitted to me). If we often perceive God as we do our earthly Father, well of course I doubt if he is initiating involvement today in the world.
Of course this is not just true of those of us who struggle with faith. Christians come to believe in God for a variety of needs in their life: to be loved, to belong to a community, to have a sense of purpose and worth, to escape something in their lives, or for hope in the hopelessness – all common results of emotional “issues.”
I’m a heady guy. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life analyzing myself and the situations around me. I can’t begin to tell you how many personality tests I’ve taken, how many counseling sessions I’ve sat through, and how many books I’ve read to seek an understanding of myself and the world.
I don’t know if anyone out there is like me, but I find it much easier to analyze and think than it is to feel and hurt. “Deal with the trauma and emotional issues in your life” we are told… I am told. But what does that even mean. If I have an intellectual issue, I know I can read a book, reason, research, think… but how does one address the heart issues – just continue to think about something until I cry?
The emotional reality does not negate the intellectual difficulty, but I would encourage others out there who struggle… or who don’t think about why they believe… to realize the deep issues that underlie those intellectual issues we may have. I’ll let you know if I ever find the answer of what to do with those emotions, but if we are going to be authentic in our walk through life, we have to admit the deep sources that we often mask by staying in the head.
I admit it to you as we continue this journey.
1 comment:
The most important responsibility we have as parents is to help our children experience, express and identify their emotions and the emotions of those around them. Unfortunately it is probably one of the most challenging, especially because most parents are still entrenched in the process of self-discovery and "sorting out" of thoughts, feelings and experiences that you describe above. Good points, Mike!
-Erin (Jinks) Winemiller
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